


Lost and Found

by theministerskat



Series: Kat's Other Outlander Tales [7]
Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Canon Compliant, Echo In The Bone, F/M, missing moment, other outlander tales
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 01:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16985532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theministerskat/pseuds/theministerskat
Summary: The MacKenzies visit North Carolina after coming back through the stones to the early 1980s.





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt submitted to @otheroutlandertales by anonymous over on Tumblr: Roger is lost. Literally.

Roger sensed the irritation radiating from Brianna in the passenger seat. He felt it permeating his own demeanor and gripped the steering wheel tighter. She hadn’t said a word to him since they passed the small rural gas station an hour before, though every few miles a small sigh would pass over her lips.

 

She had protested only slightly when he had pulled off the 85 in Sailsbury. Tired of the mundane scenery of the highway, he had announced that his directional instincts would get them where they meant to go via backroads.  _ Head southwest, into the mountains _ , he had thought to himself,  _ simple enough _ . Many travelers had found their way without modern maps, he himself had done it and still could. But now his current predicament was turning into a bad man-versus-map joke. 

 

He pulled his eyes away from the road before him and looked down, noticing his knuckles had turned white from his firm grip on the wheel. With a sigh that matched one of his wife’s, Roger loosened his hold and glanced at the rearview mirror. Jem and Mandy were fast asleep, her head on his shoulder, their contrasting curls mixing together. The sight sent a small pang of loss through his heart. He recalled the way Jamie and Claire’s hair would weave together as they sat on the porch step of the big house, her head on his shoulder in the same way as their grandchildren were now, completely at peace. 

 

It was no surprise to him that his mind would wander back to memories of his in-laws. To be here again, in North Carolina, driving - not riding - through the same mountains he had called home for so long and where he had found the true meaning of family. And whenever he thought of that time the hole within him seemed to grow a bit more. 

 

Bree had objected to the idea of visiting Fraser’s Ridge when he had first proposed it. She thought it was too soon - too soon to know if anything, or nothing, of their old life had survived the test of time. Roger knew there was more to her objections, though she never voiced them. The thought of the Ridge, and how it was when they had left, was still clear in both their minds. The possibility of seeing that same mountain wilderness with no evidence of the life they once lived would be like severing the last thread in an already fraying rope. 

 

He snuck a sideways look at her. Arms crossed over her chest, and he could have sworn her hair was a shade darker, reflecting the inner frustration he was sure she was feeling with him. 

 

Sending a small prayer up for the salvation of his soul, he finally decided to breach the matter.

 

“Just say it, aye?”

 

She pulled her gaze from the blurred view of the passenger side window and settled it on him. 

 

“Say what?” He didn’t hear the anger in her tone he had prepared himself for, but Brianna was like her father in that way, she could easily suppress her true feelings.

 

“I know ye’re upset. Ye have been since I pulled off the highway. I’ve traveled these mountains when there were no roads or directionals, I thought I’d have no trouble finding it.”

 

“Oh . . .” Her response tapered off and he felt her staring at him.

 

“ _ Oh? _ ” Roger’s own frustration piqued, not wanting to drag on the tension, but to get it all out. His foot went to the brake pedal and he pulled the car over onto the side of the road. He shifted into park and turned to look at her full on.

 

He was taken aback by what he saw in her face then. It was a soft expression, not frustration like he had expected. A look of contemplation mixed with remorse, one that he had seen when a fleeting memory would overtake her and she talked with Jem about his grandparents.

 

“Are ye not upset because I  _ seem _ to have gotten us lost in these God-forsaken mountains?”

 

“Lost?” Her face was blank for an instant and then she laughed. He knew she was amused at his expense, but the way her face lightened and the feeling of her frustration lifting assuaged his own.

 

Brianna undid her seatbelt then and scooted herself across the bench seat. He felt himself calm completely as she took his face in her hands, fingertips brushing the several days worth of stubble on his cheeks, and kissed him. It wasn’t a long kiss, and he felt her smile against his own lips as she pulled away.

 

“Roger, you-  _ we _ aren’t  _ lost _ . We’re  _ here _ .” She gestured out the windshield as if there were a “Welcome to the Ridge” sign before them.

 

“This is Mount Helicon. We passed a sign a few miles back. I think the road is following the old path that came up from the stream. Just a bit further and it’ll flatten out.” Her voice held a sense of longing as she continued, “That’ll be where the big house would have been . . . and our cabin.”

 

He peered out the windows then, squinting through the glare of the sun shining through. The trees had thinned out along this stretch of road and he was finally able to take in their surroundings.

 

For a moment he was back in the 18the century, looking out over the familiar curves and slopes of the mountains across the valley from their home on the Ridge. This had been one of Jamie’s favorite spots, or as close to it as he could get now. Roger longed to jump out of the car, close his eyes, breathe in the scents of pine and fallen leaves, and pretend he was standing there with Jamie like he had a hundred times. He reigned in his own desire and turned back to Bree, knowing she needed his comfort more than he needed to try and escape his current time.

 

“I’m sorry, I was so focused on finding or seeing something definitive I didn’t realize.” He knew he had been a fool for misreading her emotions over the last hour, but still felt as though something was wrong. “Are ye upset that we’re here though? That I made us come?”

 

“No, not upset in the way you’re thinking. It’s just . . .” She let out a long breath and made to move back across the front seat then. He caught her hand in his before she could slide away in an act of support, willing her to continue.

 

“What, hen?” he pressed. 

 

“I know it’s unlikely we’d come upon it, but I don’t know if I’d be able to stand it, possibly seeing the old burying ground. And finding  _ them _ there.” She didn’t falter while speaking the words, but he could tell it was difficult for her to finally admit why she hadn’t been keen to come out all this way. 

 

Roger closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. He hadn’t thought about it, the fact that in finding Fraser’s Ridge again that they may also find Jamie and Claire’s final resting spot. He’d been so focused on just seeing it, wanting to see firsthand how the decades changed a place, to connect his past life with the one he was living now, that he hadn’t considered the darker possibilities that may arise with their expedition.

 

“We don’t have to go looking for them. They aren’t lost to us, Bree.”

 

“I know. But I remember what it was like for Mama seeing that headstone in the kirkyard of St. Kilda’s all those years ago. She was completely devastated before she knew the whole story, and I would rather not know unless we know it all.”

 

He knew exactly what she meant. He would never shake the image of Claire bent over the grave marker bearing hers and Jamie’s names, nor the feeling of relief when he found Frank Randall’s letter to the Reverend.

 

“Do ye want to turn around?” He was willing to give up his own need for closure and not look back for her sake. But she shook her head at his question.

 

“No, I’d like to see it, or at least where it was, and for Mandy to see it too.”

 

“Aye, me too. Just a little further up then?” he asked. Brianna nodded and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as he shifted the car into drive and pulled back onto the road.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this story!
> 
> If you would like to submit a prompt to Other Outlander Tales, or check out any of our other stories, you can do so by visiting me and the other mods over on Tumblr at otheroutlandertales.tumblr.com.


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